Disability Pride Month : "My movements have slowed down, but I did not give up on being physically active"

Our fifth essay in the Disability Pride Month series comes from Chennai-based lawyer and writer Preethi Narayanan who shares her story dealing with the physical and mental toll of chronic pain caused by injury.

Here we meet again? Yet again I had another horrible fall.

A year ago, I fell down and hurt my left ankle, I was confined to the bed for almost 6 weeks, so much so that I actively could not participate in my sister’s wedding. It was extremely painful.

When the RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) method wouldn’t work, I went to the Orthopaedic doctor, who put a huge cast on my leg so much so that my leg had to be suspended in mid-air. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t squat, I couldn’t go to the toilet on my own. I was moved to tears.

“I may be able to move around, this pain in the leg and swelling in the ankle is going to be chronic.”

I asked myself how long would this go. How long am I going to live like this?

On the work front, deadlines rushed forth and new work piled up. To add up to my woes, the bills for each visit to the doctor and the cast on my leg kept piling up.

My life literally came to stand still, and despite the six weeks of rest, the bulge or the swelling on my left leg did not heal, so much so that my not just my walking but demeanour and mood had changed too.

I did not realise, back then that though I may be able to move around, this pain in the leg and swelling in the ankle is going to be chronic.

Of course, I can keep it under control, but definitely, this is something that couldn’t be eradicated, to the root. I was not able to walk swiftly, despite losing some weight.

My treks had come to a terrible halt. I had to battle people’s opinions. People thought that once the cast was removed, I would be able to run, I would be able climb stairs, I would be able to do 10000 steps per day, but all these were sadly just myths. Even with physiotherapy, movement takes a lot of time.

I have almost made peace with the fact that my left ankle is always going to have that bulge. But I’m worried that this could lead to arthritis, which I am scared would affect other parts of my body too.

“Healing makes you angry, healing makes you fall, falter, pick yourself up, and move forward.”

Looking back, I still kept moving on, until I had another fall, where I hurt my right leg. This happened in January 2026, but unlike last time, I was confined only for a week and could basically move. Though the fall was not nasty as the previous time, ultimately I had a fall on both my legs, merely within a span of one year.

I have wondered how is it possible? How is it logical? Why am I the person that keeps falling? Why am I the person that keeps failing? The answer to this was something I only discovered recently.

Three weeks ago, I had another nasty fall, injuring the same spot in the left leg, later diagnosed as “Anterior Tibiofibular Ligament Tear” (AITFL). This time, yet again, it was only for two weeks that I was confined to bed. There were a lot of people this time at home to help me with my chores, my new born niece, my new set of friends and acquaintances, a lot to keep me going and moving on, but I still questioned myself. Why me?

” I know I will face innumerable hurdles in life, but I do think I have it in me to fight and face my inner demons.”

For this, I discovered that I needed to do a lot of inner work. Healing does not just mean mentally, but a lot of physical pressure or stress, accumulated in the body comes out. Healing makes you angry, healing makes you fall, falter, pick yourself up, move forward, quit toxic relationships, move away from toxic friendships, move on from the surface level acquaintances.

I am thinking as I am writing, if the ligament tear, particularly mine was recurring. I am not sure if I again am going to fall or hurt my leg again and whether it’s going to take a toll on my mental health?

I know, a lot has changed for me. My movements have slowed down. Yes, my number of treks have come down drastically, but I still travelled around India, I still went for morning walks, I still did not give up on being physically active, because I know that this too, shall pass.

I know I will face innumerable hurdles in life, but I do think I have it in me to fight and face my inner demons.

Written by Preethi Narayanan

Preethi Narayanan is a lawyer by the day and a writer by night. A traveller who who enjoys trekking, reading and speaking on open mics, Preethi strives to bring changes in people’s life through her work and the gift of gab.

Keep up with our Disability Pride Month series on Lyrical Muse.